I think that 'fuck' can sum up my weekend. Work could always be better, but over all it wasn't that bad. I got no school work done what so ever. I have felt horrible all weekend and today just brought that to the edge. I'm about 2 minutes shy of giving up on school work and getting the vodka out of my freezer. However, overall, I am a giant pussy and won't. That 6 plus page paper will get done tonight with its 6 plus sources. Along with the 36 observation notes and the 500 word dialog and whatever else is due in my education classes.

At some point.

For now, I am staring at an Amp, listening to Bach, and talking with John, who is sitting on my bed doing the education homework that I should be doing. But he's a math major.


Highlight of my day was about a half hour after getting back to Bridgewater.

My step-father calls me up, telling me that he's been arrested and needed me to bail him out of jail. Just what I needed added onto my day. I'm still not sure what it was for, but I know that he's been driving without a license for a while, so it probably just caught up with him. Anyway- I needed a ride there, and my first thought was Rich, which for reasons I'd rather not get into, did not work out, so I told him that it was figured out and hen proceeded to look through my address book and called Dustin: who wasn't on campus. I nearly broke down talking to him, and I hope that he doesn't plan on asking me later about why I had needed a ride, because I'm not sure that I want to start opening up to him again after what he had said to me last year.

Ryan ended up giving me a ride, which I was grateful for, but I didn't want to ask him. There are few people who know the extent of my home life, and he is not one of them. Dustin knows to the largest extent, and it's only because I can relate with him on a lesser level with how his life has been. I've had it better than he has, but he has the better outlook on life. I miss him being there for me, but people fall apart, and the fact that he had to ask who it was when I called him proves that. However, his words seem to still mean a great amount to me, and I could really use them right now.

I need some one in my life that I can fully open up to, but I'm afraid to be hurt again. Derek really messed with my head. I'm fairly positive that I can relate most of my issues back to him.

I've started to pray again.

Well I'm rambling, and spent far too much time on this than I had planned. I am exhausted and have yet to start my paper. Looks like I'll be getting on that now.

/Peace/ Love/ God Bless

I have about fifteen minutes before my daily Jeopardy watching, so I thought that I would start an actual post.

My day was just slightly beneath being busy. Apparently my first class was canceled, which I should have known, only I had skipped the previous class. It's Learning and Motivation, which is the second education class that BSC offers and it is only taught by Dr. ZuWallack, who is a fine person, but not a great teacher- which is odd, considering that he teaches students how to teach. The entire class is based on group work and apart from the very first class, he has not lectured. We work in the library and he walks around us, making sure that we are there, and that's it.

Seeing as it was canceled, I went by Tillinghast to find out when Dr. Fortunato had office hours, so see that she did when I was there, but in Boyden. I was able to register for classes as an honors student, so I wanted to make sure that this didn't fuck me over as I'm not actually an honors student anymore. It doesn't, but she recommends that I do something to make myself stand out from other students who will be applying to high schools.

After meeting with her I had to rush across campus to get to my Introduction to Teaching class, which I also despise. We're taught as if we are in elementary school, which some of my classmates enjoy, but it makes me hate the class. It also makes me not want to continue on in Education, which would probably be a horrible mistake.

Philosophy club afterwards, though. And that's always a good time. We're not completely structured as I thought we might be with an actual adviser, but Dr. Devlin is about the same as all of us with keeping to topics. It's nice though, to have an adviser who is actually involved in the club, because when Dr. Skoble was our adviser, we never saw him. Apparently he used to run the Blackboard site for the club. On books I'm treasurer, but I don't actually do anything as we're not yet an actual SGA recognized club. We didn't have specific topics today and talked about justification of war,Unitarian Universalism and...I can't actually remember. Some touching on the philosophy of science after last week's colloquium and the classes that we signed up for.

Lastly I had Canadian history with Dr. Holman. It was a seminar style today about African Americans in Canada and how they were viewed by Canadians and how they viewed Canadians. It was actually interesting. I'll be taking the second half of his course in the Spring, which should be nice because I really like Dr. Holman. He's one of those teachers who is always excited about the subjects that he teaches and actually makes you want to be in class. He's they type of teacher that I have always liked. A complete dork. A bit boring subject matter at times, but he tries to make it interesting.

So now Jeopardy is over, and I should be reading for a book report I have to do for Dr. Holman. I have yet to reach an interesting part of the book, so chances are I will give up shortly and come back to my computer.

That's it for now.

/Peace/ Love/ God Bless