I think that 'fuck' can sum up my weekend. Work could always be better, but over all it wasn't that bad. I got no school work done what so ever. I have felt horrible all weekend and today just brought that to the edge. I'm about 2 minutes shy of giving up on school work and getting the vodka out of my freezer. However, overall, I am a giant pussy and won't. That 6 plus page paper will get done tonight with its 6 plus sources. Along with the 36 observation notes and the 500 word dialog and whatever else is due in my education classes.

At some point.

For now, I am staring at an Amp, listening to Bach, and talking with John, who is sitting on my bed doing the education homework that I should be doing. But he's a math major.


Highlight of my day was about a half hour after getting back to Bridgewater.

My step-father calls me up, telling me that he's been arrested and needed me to bail him out of jail. Just what I needed added onto my day. I'm still not sure what it was for, but I know that he's been driving without a license for a while, so it probably just caught up with him. Anyway- I needed a ride there, and my first thought was Rich, which for reasons I'd rather not get into, did not work out, so I told him that it was figured out and hen proceeded to look through my address book and called Dustin: who wasn't on campus. I nearly broke down talking to him, and I hope that he doesn't plan on asking me later about why I had needed a ride, because I'm not sure that I want to start opening up to him again after what he had said to me last year.

Ryan ended up giving me a ride, which I was grateful for, but I didn't want to ask him. There are few people who know the extent of my home life, and he is not one of them. Dustin knows to the largest extent, and it's only because I can relate with him on a lesser level with how his life has been. I've had it better than he has, but he has the better outlook on life. I miss him being there for me, but people fall apart, and the fact that he had to ask who it was when I called him proves that. However, his words seem to still mean a great amount to me, and I could really use them right now.

I need some one in my life that I can fully open up to, but I'm afraid to be hurt again. Derek really messed with my head. I'm fairly positive that I can relate most of my issues back to him.

I've started to pray again.

Well I'm rambling, and spent far too much time on this than I had planned. I am exhausted and have yet to start my paper. Looks like I'll be getting on that now.

/Peace/ Love/ God Bless